The Misconception of the Twin Flame Journey: Trauma Bonding, Co-dependency, and Unhealthy Attachments from a Psychospiritual Perspective.

The twin flame journey is often romanticized as the ultimate love story a divine reunion between two souls destined to complete each other. However, what many perceive as a twin flame connection is often a cycle of trauma bonding, co-dependency, and unhealthy attachment. This misconception creates a trap that keeps individuals stuck in suffering, preventing authentic growth and healing.

Trauma Bonding Disguised as Spiritual Connection

One of the most dangerous misconceptions about twin flames is the belief that intense emotional highs and lows indicate a sacred connection. In reality, these extreme emotional fluctuations are often signs of trauma bonding.

Trauma bonding occurs when deep emotional wounds create an addictive attachment to another person, reinforcing a cycle of pain and euphoria. If a connection continually triggers deep wounds but is justified as part of a twin flame ‘lesson,’ it’s time to question whether this relationship is fostering healing or perpetuating suffering.

Spirituality should never justify abuse, neglect, or instability. Growth occurs in stability, not in cycles of abandonment and return.

The Co-dependent Notion of Twin Flames

Many believe their twin flame is the missing piece of their soul, creating an unhealthy narrative that fosters co-dependency.

This belief externalizes personal wholeness, leading to a desperate longing for someone else to complete, heal, or save them.

This mindset:

· Creates emotional reliance on another person rather than self-sufficiency.

· Encourages neglect of personal boundaries in the name of spiritual union.

· Leads to an inability to function emotionally without the presence of the other.

In reality, spiritual evolution is about self-realization, not self-abandonment. The true path to soul alignment is in integrating all aspects of the self—not waiting for another to bring completion.

Unhealthy Attachment Styles and the ‘Twin Flame Runner-Chaser’ Dynamic

The common ‘runner-chaser’ dynamic in twin flame ideology is often an unhealthy attachment style at play.

· Anxious attachment manifests as the ‘chaser,’ desperate for love and validation.

· Avoidant attachment manifests as the ‘runner,’ fearing intimacy and withdrawing when things get too deep.

This dynamic isn’t a sign of a divine connection—it’s a sign of unhealed wounds. Reframing this pattern as a ‘spiritual test’ only prolongs emotional suffering. True twin flames, if they exist, would encourage growth, not reinforce dysfunction.

What Is a Karmic Connection?

Many individuals who believe that they are in twin flame relationships are actually involved in karmic connections—relationships that serve as catalysts for growth but are not meant to last. Karmic partners trigger deep wounds so they can be acknowledged and healed. They act as mirrors, reflecting what we need to address within ourselves.

Rather than idealizing a toxic relationship as a twin flame bond, it’s important to recognize when a person has entered your life to teach lessons rather than to stay permanently. The purpose of karmic connections is not union—it’s transformation.

Twin Flames vs. Karmic Connections: The Difference in Mirroring and Triggering

Both twin flames and karmic connections involve mirroring and triggering, but the nature of these reflections differs significantly.

· Karmic connections mirror unresolved wounds for the purpose of clearing past life or generational trauma. These relationships feel intense and often tumultuous, forcing individuals to face deep-seated fears, insecurities, and emotional wounds. However, the lessons are meant to be integrated, and once learned, the relationship typically dissolves.

· Twin flames, if they truly exist, reflect the journey toward spiritual alignment. The mirroring in this connection is meant to inspire evolution rather than inflict emotional turmoil. While twin flames may also trigger wounds, the purpose is to encourage inner work, healing, and higher consciousness—not to perpetuate cycles of dysfunction.

The key difference lies in outcome and evolution:

· Karmic connections teach through conflict and difficulty, often leading to separation once the lesson is learned.

· Twin flame connections (if real) should inspire healing, self-realization, and genuine growth, without the need for toxic dynamics.

Mistaking a karmic bond for a twin flame connection prolongs suffering and prevents true healing. Recognizing the difference allows individuals to move forward and embrace their personal transformation without unnecessary pain.

Individualizing the Journey to Self

Spiritual awakening is an inward journey, not a quest for another person. True self-evolution requires dismantling illusions and taking personal responsibility for healing.

Steps Toward Authentic Healing:

1. Therapy – Working with a licensed psychotherapist helps unpack attachment wounds, childhood trauma, and relational patterns that keep unhealthy dynamics in place.

2. Alternative Therapeutic Modalities – Energy healing, somatic therapy, breathwork, and hypnotherapy can access subconscious layers of healing beyond talk therapy.

3. Plant Medicine for Deep Healing – Sacred plant medicines like Ayahuasca and Psilocybin (in legal, ceremonial settings) offer profound insights, helping individuals break free from limiting beliefs and rewire trauma responses.

The Truth: The Journey is About You

The misconception of the twin flame journey delays healing by keeping individuals externally focused on another person rather than their own inner work. The true spiritual journey isn’t about finding another to complete you, it’s about realizing you were never incomplete in the first place.

Your path isn’t about waiting for someone to return, fix, or validate you. It’s about stepping into your own power, healing your own wounds, and rising into the highest version of yourself. That is where true union—union with the self—begins.

Are you ready to release the illusion and embrace your true evolution?

Written by Guest Expert

Amber Choisella

Founder of Blossom and Rise