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But do you love yourself?

Updated: Jun 16, 2023

Online Trauma Therapy | Health and Wellbeing Bolton

Let's talk about self-love.

And no, self-love is not selfish. Self-love means you appreciate who you are, you accept yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Self-love means being willing to speak up for yourself when you don't agree with something, it means saying yes when you want to say yes and not when society wants you to say yes. Self-love is allowing yourself to be who you truly are, to be who you want to be, and understanding that people judge you based upon their perception and not based upon the so-called facts. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. It means not settling for less than you deserve.

Self-love can be different for everyone, it can be expressed differently by everyone simply because we all have our own ways of expressing love. But what's important is to get the message, which is to put yourself first, take care of your needs, speak up when you have to or when you want to protect yourself and your boundaries. It's okay to say no as long as you're not saying to yourself you have to put anyone else first at your expense. Remember you cannot receive love or give love if you don't love yourself enough. Everything starts from within.

Okay, so now you might be thinking '' I understand what self-love is but where do I start?"

So the basic steps to start practicing self-love are:

  • Start trusting yourself.

  • Be gentle with yourself.

  • Celebrate small achievements in your life.

  • Accept your feelings.

  • Prioritize yourself.

  • Start with boundaries (essential boundaries).

  • Allow yourself to make mistakes.

  • Forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself, listen to your inner voice, your intuition, and do what makes you happy.

  • Giving yourself a break from self-judgment.

  • Talking to and about yourself with love.

For some people, self-love is to listen to the needs of their body. So it is the same as self-care for example, going for a full-body hot stone massage, swimming, facial treatments, disconnecting from social media, eating healthy, stretching, doing some yoga.

Remember self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being first.

So now we know that self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you hold yourself in high esteem, you're more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well. These things may be in the form of eating healthy, exercising, or having healthy relationships.

People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want. Which definitely has an impact on their actions. By staying focused on what they need, they automatically turn away behaviour patterns that get them in trouble, stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.

People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions.

To practice self-love, start by being kind, patient, gentle, and compassionate to yourself, treat yourself simply as you would treat someone you love.

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